I was talking to a friend about relationships and marriage. As she is looking for suitors, she told me a very interesting incident which happened with her.
While we were discussing about marriage and relationships, she told me how she felt about the whole arranged marriage scenario. Which I’m sure most of you reading this, would find an awkward thing to do. The scene is no different for her. She is totally opposed to the idea of arranged marriage. Marriage is something one should do, when one is ready and also, with someone you think you can spend your life with, somebody you are compatible with. So, under great pressure she agreed to meet the grooms, with one tiny condition, that she will meet the person first and if she likes it, then only the things will move forward. With hesitation, her parents agreed.
The day comes, when she has to go and meet the guy. They meet, everything goes well. On coming back, she gives a heads up to the family. But, the guy has to leave the city next day, so the family meeting an all has to wait, till he comes back or this is what she thinks. After a few days, she receives a message from the guy asking her
“ If it is okay that our parents meet without me being present or do you want to meet before that?”
On giving proper thought, she replied to him,
“ I think parents should meet when both of us are present and also, I would like to meet you once before the parents meet.”
She told her mother that, he messaged about meeting of parents without him and as she knew her mother she didn’t tell the thing about meeting him before that, thinking she would do that once he is here and ask them to meet him before that.
She didn’t knew what she has signed up for!!
Few days later, her mother being the impatient type calls up this guy, to know if parents can meet before he came back. That guy, literally lashed out to her mother saying that “your daughter lies to you, as she said she would like to “date” before going any further with the parents thing”.
Her mother got really angry listening to this, as any mother would be, but not on that guy. She literally, confronted her daughter regarding this, how could she ask the guy to meet, on her own?. My friend was really upset, as she clearly asked him to meet once, which is fair enough in todays time.
A person like my friend, who wants somebody who is understanding and open minded at the same time acts as a friend first and then may be a husband or a lover or something. I think she is not asking for something elaborate or something which she cannot give back. Also, parents today have changed a lot, perhaps may be hers need a little change is perspective.
Originally published on bononology.com